








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,207 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1126 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1365 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 814 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 902 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $86,136 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | »Epic ☆ | 46% | 59 |
| #2 | BananaGuy | 45% | 22 |
| #3 | MösenMörser | 44% | 54 |
| #4 | toy1. | 42% | 69 |
| #5 | Keyser Soze | 42% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | »Epic ☆ | 46% | 59 |
| #2 | BananaGuy | 45% | 22 |
| #3 | MösenMörser | 44% | 54 |
| #4 | toy1. | 42% | 69 |
| #5 | Keyser Soze | 42% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keyser Soze | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | BananaGuy | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | toy1. | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toy1. | 186 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Keyser Soze | 185 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | »Epic ☆ | 140 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | MösenMörser | 72 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | BananaGuy | 35 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MösenMörser | +2.03 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | »Epic ☆ | +1.46 | 85 | 67 |
| #3 | BananaGuy | +0.08 | 80 | 62 |
| #4 | toy1. | -0.56 | 70 | 77 |
| #5 | Keyser Soze | -1.41 | 66 | 64 |





