








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Faceit | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4725 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,197 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2040 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2898 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2983 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2276 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,415,355 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZeronX | 64% | 39 |
| #2 | SearchMyAim | 62% | 39 |
| #3 | d3lay | 61% | 93 |
| #4 | dabears | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | marcel =) | 57% | 226 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d3lay | 10 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | marcel =) | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | ^mrregex$ | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | nsuR | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | eQix | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^mrregex$ | 1195 | 0.29 | 32 min |
| #2 | marcel =) | 544 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | nsuR | 470 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #4 | Ratze pistolero ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 399 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #5 | eQix | 344 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d3lay | +2.64 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | ckay | +2.58 | 87 | 83 |
| #3 | marcel =) | +2.50 | 88 | 68 |
| #4 | Ratze pistolero ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +1.70 | 83 | 72 |
| #5 | ZeronX | +0.39 | 74 | 70 |





