










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 273 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2700 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,749 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2069 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2248 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2793 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1639 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,141,429 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlbinoeN | 54% | 69 |
| #2 | Mikko2stronk =D | 52% | 56 |
| #3 | crimzon_ | 50% | 298 |
| #4 | ejeCt | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | DueZ0RTIME! | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlbinoeN | 54% | 69 |
| #2 | Mikko2stronk =D | 52% | 56 |
| #3 | crimzon_ | 50% | 298 |
| #4 | ejeCt | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | DueZ0RTIME! | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crimzon_ | 13 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | AlbinoeN | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Mikko2stronk =D | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | DueZ0RTIME! | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crimzon_ | 1051 | 0.17 | 28 min |
| #2 | Mikko2stronk =D | 186 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | DueZ0RTIME! | 149 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | AlbinoeN | 84 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | ejeCt | 59 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mikko2stronk =D | +1.40 | 80 | 75 |
| #2 | crimzon_ | +0.45 | 64 | 79 |
| #3 | EngineeR | -0.40 | 76 | 64 |
| #4 | AlbinoeN | -0.77 | 37 | 61 |
| #5 | ejeCt | -1.22 | 42 | 63 |





