








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 381 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4288 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,717 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4460 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5518 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4657 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2082 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,153,492 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 652 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | philliam | 55% | 168 |
| #2 | ryan ๑ﭥ | 48% | 368 |
| #3 | ns :-s | 48% | 231 |
| #4 | Zeuce | 47% | 243 |
| #5 | kB | 47% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeuce | 16 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | ryan ๑ﭥ | 15 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | ns :-s | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | philliam | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | kB | 6 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ryan ๑ﭥ | 957 | 0.13 | 26 min |
| #2 | ns :-s | 716 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #3 | philliam | 559 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #4 | Zeuce | 387 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #5 | kB | 111 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ryan ๑ﭥ | +2.44 | 63 | 75 |
| #2 | ns :-s | +2.15 | 81 | 67 |
| #3 | vG | +0.14 | 61 | 68 |
| #4 | philliam | -0.60 | 32 | 53 |
| #5 | Zeuce | -1.30 | 41 | 53 |





