








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 564 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4627 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,160 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5153 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4724 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4582 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3701 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $917,711 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 672 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | kB | 49% | 106 |
| #4 | vG | 48% | 368 |
| #5 | ns :-s | 48% | 251 |
| #6 | Zeuce | 46% | 217 |
| #7 | JDead | 41% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeuce | 14 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | ns :-s | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | philliam | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | kB | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | vG | 4 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ns :-s | 801 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #2 | vG | 661 | 0.09 | 22 min |
| #3 | philliam | 504 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #4 | Zeuce | 330 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | JDead | 106 | 0.03 | 3 min |





