








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1195 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,929 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 211 | 11% |
| Smokes | 528 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 721 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 469 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $507,096 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SavVyVet07 | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | Moist Rash | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | Trash Panda | 47% | 36 |
| #4 | Papi | 46% | 98 |
| #5 | DAPPERxDUCK |ßÄЯ| | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Moist Rash | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | Trash Panda | 47% | 36 |
| #4 | Papi | 46% | 98 |
| #5 | DAPPERxDUCK |ßÄЯ| | 43% | 14 |
| #6 | PeT1X' | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papi | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Trash Panda | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | SavVyVet07 | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Moist Rash | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | PeT1X' | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papi | 129 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | Trash Panda | 83 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | PeT1X' | 58 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | Moist Rash | 40 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | DAPPERxDUCK |ßÄЯ| | 22 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SavVyVet07 | +3.88 | 94 | 51 |
| #2 | DAPPERxDUCK |ßÄЯ| | +1.74 | 77 | 71 |
| #3 | Moist Rash | +0.58 | 55 | 56 |
| #4 | Notorious T.O.M. | -0.14 | 39 | 36 |
| #5 | PeT1X' | -1.75 | 54 | 51 |





