








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
212 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 167 | 21% |
| Smokes | 181 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 212 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 229 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $73,561 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | goliath | 50% | 4 |
| #7 | Poida | 42% | 26 |
| #8 | Гулдан | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | Bad at this game | 33% | 12 |
| #10 | c1 | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poida | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Bad at this game | 1 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | c1 | 1 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poida | 51 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | -Sp0ck | 27 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | shz | 18 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #4 | E C H O | 12 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | c1 | 7 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mouse Rug Merchant | +5.35 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | -Sp0ck | +4.97 | 80 | 67 |
| #3 | E C H O | +2.02 | 54 | 58 |
| #4 | Poida | +1.80 | 66 | 68 |
| #5 | c1 | +0.33 | 77 | 48 |





