








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1853 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,579 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 901 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1289 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1837 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1552 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $596,972 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shz | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | Poida | 44% | 116 |
| #3 | Гулдан | 36% | 14 |
| #4 | -Sp0ck | 33% | 21 |
| #5 | Mouse Rug Merchant | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shz | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | Poida | 44% | 116 |
| #3 | Гулдан | 36% | 14 |
| #4 | -Sp0ck | 33% | 21 |
| #5 | Mouse Rug Merchant | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poida | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | -Sp0ck | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Гулдан | 1 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | shz | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poida | 226 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | Гулдан | 52 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | -Sp0ck | 41 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | shz | 32 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mouse Rug Merchant | 21 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Sp0ck | +1.05 | 77 | 51 |
| #2 | c1 | +0.83 | 72 | 51 |
| #3 | Гулдан | +0.76 | 71 | 72 |
| #4 | shz | +0.49 | 71 | 60 |
| #5 | Poida | -0.29 | 58 | 69 |





