








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 29 matches | 1,982 | |
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1486 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,206 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1683 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1521 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 835 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1167 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $279,148 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bune | 80% | 20 |
| #2 | -Patzi | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | p0se /ñ/ | 53% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bune | 80% | 20 |
| #2 | -Patzi | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | p0se /ñ/ | 53% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p0se /ñ/ | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Bune | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | -Patzi | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p0se /ñ/ | 549 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #2 | -Patzi | 35 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Bune | 30 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bune | +2.01 | 79 | 54 |
| #2 | Zybax | +1.88 | 72 | 69 |
| #3 | p0se /ñ/ | +0.71 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | -Patzi | -0.89 | 83 | 60 |





