








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1107 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,990 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 760 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1002 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1886 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1342 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $398,137 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .:aKuRria. | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | Lezduit | 52% | 56 |
| #3 | dnnis ♛ | 50% | 103 |
| #4 | m4trixzoR | 49% | 53 |
| #5 | GeCoRi | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | dnnis ♛ | 50% | 103 |
| #4 | m4trixzoR | 49% | 53 |
| #5 | GeCoRi | 45% | 31 |
| #6 | SuBzer0 | 40% | 10 |
| #7 | GuenterKrass | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lezduit | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | dnnis ♛ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | GeCoRi | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | .:aKuRria. | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dnnis ♛ | 302 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | Lezduit | 183 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | GeCoRi | 121 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | m4trixzoR | 59 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | GuenterKrass | 23 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dnnis ♛ | +3.16 | 67 | 78 |
| #2 | GeCoRi | +2.02 | 60 | 76 |
| #3 | .:aKuRria. | +1.56 | 50 | 76 |
| #4 | Lezduit | +1.30 | 59 | 80 |
| #5 | GuenterKrass | +0.78 | 42 | 80 |





