








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 357 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4058 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,484 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5487 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3158 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4075 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3764 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $675,353 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | manyou | 50% | 46 |
| #2 | Killtech | 48% | 301 |
| #3 | Gryffindor | 47% | 73 |
| #4 | jRmッ | 42% | 118 |
| #5 | NO UNO NO STOP | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Killtech | 48% | 301 |
| #3 | Gryffindor | 47% | 73 |
| #4 | jRmッ | 42% | 118 |
| #5 | NO UNO NO STOP | 37% | 27 |
| #6 | Sh!n - rA** | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jRmッ | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Killtech | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Gryffindor | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | manyou | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Sh!n - rA** | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Killtech | 977 | 0.16 | 23 min |
| #2 | Gryffindor | 257 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | jRmッ | 166 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | manyou | 113 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Sh!n - rA** | 84 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | priestaR | +1.24 | 65 | 73 |
| #2 | manyou | -0.48 | 42 | 66 |
| #3 | Sh!n - rA** | -0.54 | 29 | 63 |
| #4 | NO UNO NO STOP | -1.21 | 51 | 60 |
| #5 | Killtech | -1.65 | 54 | 63 |





