








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 208 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2387 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,935 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4074 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3487 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2800 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3574 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,016,609 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | priestaR | 48% | 301 |
| #4 | Gryffindor | 47% | 104 |
| #5 | Sh!n - rA** | 46% | 41 |
| #6 | jRmッ | 42% | 135 |
| #7 | NO UNO NO STOP | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | priestaR | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | jRmッ | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Gryffindor | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Sh!n - rA** | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | manyou | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | priestaR | 1497 | 0.24 | 41 min |
| #2 | Gryffindor | 369 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | jRmッ | 210 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | manyou | 141 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Sh!n - rA** | 109 | 0.13 | 2 min |





