








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,107 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1333 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1779 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1402 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1593 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $642,489 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seb <3 | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | HuGo | 61% | 46 |
| #3 | Gen1e | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | torkR *<|:D>-< | 49% | 89 |
| #5 | Biomech | 47% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Panda Plovpenning | 47% | 15 |
| #7 | Doc Banshee | 46% | 85 |
| #8 | ΛSTE | 46% | 35 |
| #9 | Bogey | 41% | 17 |
| #10 | AndeZ | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | torkR *<|:D>-< | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Doc Banshee | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Bogey | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Biomech | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | ΛSTE | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | torkR *<|:D>-< | 106 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | Biomech | 58 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | Doc Banshee | 49 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Seb <3 | 37 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | ΛSTE | 36 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gen1e | +3.23 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | torkR *<|:D>-< | +2.05 | 88 | 53 |
| #3 | ΛSTE | +1.61 | 82 | 63 |
| #4 | Bogey | +1.03 | 57 | 70 |
| #5 | HuGo | +0.51 | 56 | 65 |





