








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 532 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Esplay | 21 matches | 1,844 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2599 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,933 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4604 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3586 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2942 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2801 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $609,865 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | g0ldyy | 66% | 35 |
| #2 | Maldoren | 65% | 49 |
| #3 | jorgooni | 61% | 82 |
| #4 | Bluric | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | deedee | 58% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deedee | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | eple | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | g0ldyy | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Bluric | 3 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | Ønlinehero | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deedee | 677 | 0.28 | 20 min |
| #2 | siNppa | 373 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #3 | g0ldyy | 259 | 0.34 | 9 min |
| #4 | waytookebab | 221 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ønlinehero | 204 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deedee | +3.55 | 85 | 82 |
| #2 | Ønlinehero | +2.82 | 82 | 73 |
| #3 | Bluric | +2.01 | 65 | 65 |
| #4 | Maldoren | +1.89 | 82 | 68 |
| #5 | g0ldyy | +1.45 | 86 | 81 |





