








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 84 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,344 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 871 | 37% |
| Smokes | 642 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 467 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 364 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $179,641 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yipihh | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Maui | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | hamdenhurtige | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | TAS | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | Dingobear | 59% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jylkatten | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Jfc | 3 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | 彼得 | 1 | 0.0133 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jylkatten | 77 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Dingobear | 67 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Jfc | 61 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Yipihh | 30 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | KRAT | 28 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yipihh | +3.49 | 75 | 76 |
| #2 | Dingobear | +2.75 | 80 | 56 |
| #3 | TAS | +2.23 | 81 | 75 |
| #4 | hamdenhurtige | +2.07 | 57 | 56 |
| #5 | Jfc | +1.79 | 57 | 80 |





