








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1560 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1806 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1375 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1808 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1343 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $619,955 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beNtw | 56% | 50 |
| #2 | Denver | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | Mogg | 46% | 80 |
| #4 | Briserock | 45% | 22 |
| #5 | Fk`` | 42% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Denver | 5 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | Mogg | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | beNtw | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Lorenzo | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | S l i c e e * * * | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S l i c e e * * * | 184 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | bLd | 178 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | Mogg | 162 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | beNtw | 148 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Lorenzo | 127 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Denver | +2.89 | 62 | 71 |
| #2 | S l i c e e * * * | +2.58 | 86 | 79 |
| #3 | bLd | +1.99 | 77 | 61 |
| #4 | Briserock | +1.05 | 67 | 59 |
| #5 | beNtw | -0.04 | 54 | 67 |





