








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 563 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 317 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3054 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,678 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3952 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5576 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 2151 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 999 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,690,962 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT PAIN | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | haunt^ | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | Doobie | 53% | 104 |
| #4 | INTENTION | 52% | 90 |
| #5 | BeYonD | 52% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeYonD | 9 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | kraT0$ | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Rawn | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | INTENTION | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Doobie | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kraT0$ | 743 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #2 | Rawn | 437 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #3 | Doobie | 375 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #4 | INTENTION | 283 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | BeYonD | 224 | 0.15 | 5 min |





