








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 395 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 91 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1561 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1368 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1244 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1320 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1232 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $622,123 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beastmode1 | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | b` | 49% | 35 |
| #3 | PiNKy-- | 47% | 118 |
| #4 | vig | 43% | 51 |
| #5 | SNØ | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beastmode1 | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | b` | 49% | 35 |
| #3 | PiNKy-- | 47% | 118 |
| #4 | vig | 43% | 51 |
| #5 | SNØ | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PiNKy-- | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PiNKy-- | 638 | 0.24 | 20 min |
| #2 | b` | 71 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | vig | 60 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | SNØ | 37 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | beastmode1 | 36 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vig | +1.09 | 75 | 49 |
| #2 | Gilje[G] | +0.45 | 56 | 73 |
| #3 | PiNKy-- | +0.28 | 58 | 81 |
| #4 | b` | -1.21 | 47 | 68 |
| #5 | beastmode1 | -1.50 | 28 | 60 |





