








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 132 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
939 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,538 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1189 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1046 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1174 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1129 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $421,322 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | beastmode1 | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | Gilje[G] | 49% | 35 |
| #6 | PiNKy-- | 44% | 55 |
| #7 | PLANET ONLINE | 43% | 7 |
| #8 | SNØ | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vig | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | SNØ | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | eLbot | 1 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PiNKy-- | 311 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #2 | beastmode1 | 152 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | Gilje[G] | 122 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | SNØ | 106 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | vig | 46 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vig | +1.16 | 76 | 45 |
| #2 | b` | +0.75 | 56 | 69 |
| #3 | Gilje[G] | +0.71 | 56 | 73 |
| #4 | PiNKy-- | -0.12 | 63 | 79 |
| #5 | PLANET ONLINE | -0.58 | 50 | 58 |





