








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2721 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,408 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2645 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3082 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2369 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2312 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,253,021 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OncleJaws | 54% | 223 |
| #2 | OHYEAHZ | 53% | 138 |
| #3 | BiZ*(k) | 51% | 235 |
| #4 | JouNaed1 (FR - ESP) | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | Choctarte | 50% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | JouNaed1 (FR - ESP) | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | Choctarte | 50% | 107 |
| #6 | Morpheam | 48% | 23 |
| #7 | Mitzuchiasse | 41% | 22 |
| #8 | iche | 32% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BiZ*(k) | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | OncleJaws | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Mitzuchiasse | 4 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | OHYEAHZ | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Choctarte | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BiZ*(k) | 791 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #2 | OHYEAHZ | 607 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #3 | Choctarte | 261 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | OncleJaws | 235 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | JouNaed1 (FR - ESP) | 111 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OncleJaws | +1.16 | 86 | 62 |
| #2 | BiZ*(k) | +1.14 | 86 | 70 |
| #3 | iche | +1.09 | 87 | 67 |
| #4 | OHYEAHZ | +0.69 | 69 | 67 |
| #5 | Mitzuchiasse | +0.65 | 79 | 56 |





