










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 492 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1173 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1242 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1806 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1166 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $480,534 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Littlemaster | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | M. | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | til woods | 71% | 14 |
| #4 | Yikes' | 67% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Littlemaster | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | M. | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | til woods | 71% | 14 |
| #4 | Yikes' | 67% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yikes' | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | til woods | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | M. | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yikes' | 482 | 0.28 | 13 min |
| #2 | Littlemaster | 55 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #3 | til woods | 47 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | M. | 25 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Littlemaster | +5.29 | 81 | 82 |
| #2 | Yikes' | +4.26 | 89 | 76 |
| #3 | M. | +3.49 | 62 | 58 |
| #4 | seven | -0.93 | 42 | 65 |
| #5 | til woods | -1.98 | 39 | 71 |





