








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 72 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
545 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,606 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 925 | 35% |
| Smokes | 701 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 707 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 273 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $128,915 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | splat - karmelito | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | Whipp3d' | 55% | 56 |
| #3 | pr1maL^ | 50% | 50 |
| #4 | legacY | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | ovi | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | splat - karmelito | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | Whipp3d' | 55% | 56 |
| #3 | pr1maL^ | 50% | 50 |
| #4 | legacY | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | ovi | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whipp3d' | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | pr1maL^ | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | splat - karmelito | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pr1maL^ | 180 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | Whipp3d' | 107 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | legacY | 104 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | ovi | 84 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | splat - karmelito | 58 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whipp3d' | +3.55 | 73 | 67 |
| #2 | pr1maL^ | +1.67 | 54 | 70 |
| #3 | legacY | -0.22 | 69 | 58 |
| #4 | ovi | -0.87 | 47 | 66 |
| #5 | Groover | -1.30 | 62 | 66 |





