








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 145 matches | ||
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,082 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3170 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3122 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3235 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2555 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $688,061 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PuR1maN | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | Capwithbeard. | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | SEEZUNG | 56% | 116 |
| #4 | 4NG4MUSH | 56% | 104 |
| #5 | Groover | 55% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | pr1maL^ | 51% | 150 |
| #9 | splat - karmelito | 50% | 101 |
| #10 | ovi | 46% | 80 |
| #11 | legacY | 46% | 89 |
| #12 | ozjeh | 46% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pr1maL^ | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | splat - karmelito | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ozjeh | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | legacY | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | ovi | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SEEZUNG | 779 | 0.30 | 23 min |
| #2 | 4NG4MUSH | 678 | 0.29 | 17 min |
| #3 | pr1maL^ | 504 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #4 | ozjeh | 347 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #5 | legacY | 243 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capwithbeard. | +2.04 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | SEEZUNG | +1.72 | 59 | 84 |
| #3 | Whipp3d' | +1.46 | 70 | 68 |
| #4 | pr1maL^ | +1.42 | 56 | 70 |
| #5 | ayeKaramba | +1.14 | 76 | 74 |





