








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1854 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,243 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1950 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2376 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2726 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2191 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $336,840 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xix | 81% | 21 |
| #2 | GENjiii~ | 65% | 48 |
| #3 | sQuuu | 58% | 38 |
| #4 | xWALD. | 56% | 52 |
| #5 | Erik Zion | 53% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Erik Zion | 53% | 51 |
| #6 | Grizi | 53% | 78 |
| #7 | disi | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | fakeme | 49% | 73 |
| #9 | Josef | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grizi | 9 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Erik Zion | 9 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | fakeme | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | xWALD. | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | GENjiii~ | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fakeme | 351 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | Grizi | 187 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Erik Zion | 174 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | xWALD. | 144 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | GENjiii~ | 139 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xix | +4.29 | 96 | 72 |
| #2 | fakeme | +2.93 | 80 | 73 |
| #3 | GENjiii~ | +0.73 | 68 | 74 |
| #4 | Erik Zion | +0.18 | 78 | 75 |
| #5 | Grizi | +0.04 | 66 | 59 |





