








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 771 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 381 matches | ||
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4228 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2738 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4681 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4871 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3511 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,222,436 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4300 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | $hoX | 41% | 56 |
| #11 | ThatOneDeadAirpod | 40% | 52 |
| #12 | Mick | 40% | 112 |
| #13 | Ivor Big Gun | 38% | 86 |
| #14 | Sheriff Woody | 28% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^らn☆fu WWG1WGA | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | GaZ | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | ThatOneDeadAirpod | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | -B1ade- #dtd | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Mick | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^らn☆fu WWG1WGA | 1372 | 0.31 | 37 min |
| #2 | Ivor Big Gun | 440 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #3 | GaZ | 418 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #4 | スタティックの65日 (static) | 363 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | Mick | 325 | 0.14 | 10 min |





