








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2434 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,923 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1801 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2084 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2001 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2037 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $469,177 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R-duBs | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | chopchop816 | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | AnimateD | 54% | 78 |
| #4 | Shia "The Songman" Stylez | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Stav | 49% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | h!gh. | 44% | 45 |
| #8 | REGENCY | 44% | 16 |
| #9 | sh0n | 43% | 37 |
| #10 | Holy Moly | 42% | 71 |
| #11 | Ceeeeeeeeeeeeeb | 37% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ceeeeeeeeeeeeeb | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Holy Moly | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Stav | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | h!gh. | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Shia "The Songman" Stylez | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AnimateD | 277 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | Stav | 172 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Holy Moly | 159 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Ceeeeeeeeeeeeeb | 97 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | sh0n | 74 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stav | +1.45 | 76 | 65 |
| #2 | R-duBs | +1.44 | 79 | 73 |
| #3 | chopchop816 | +1.32 | 81 | 74 |
| #4 | shaZ | +0.71 | 84 | 65 |
| #5 | sh0n | +0.03 | 63 | 65 |





