








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1257 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,181 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1382 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1134 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1511 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1154 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $360,050 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1344 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shaZ | 49% | 71 |
| #2 | Ceeeeeeeeeeeeeb | 46% | 26 |
| #3 | Holy Moly | 45% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shaZ | 49% | 71 |
| #2 | Ceeeeeeeeeeeeeb | 46% | 26 |
| #3 | Holy Moly | 45% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ceeeeeeeeeeeeeb | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | shaZ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Holy Moly | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shaZ | 186 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Holy Moly | 75 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ceeeeeeeeeeeeeb | 65 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stav | +0.93 | 77 | 62 |
| #2 | shaZ | -0.21 | 81 | 65 |
| #3 | Holy Moly | -0.50 | 81 | 64 |
| #4 | Ceeeeeeeeeeeeeb | -1.96 | 65 | 62 |





