








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 232 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3140 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,784 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2559 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2845 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3725 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2655 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,578,586 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ELTO | 53% | 150 |
| #2 | b4m | 53% | 238 |
| 51% | 112 | ||
| 48% | 178 | ||
| #5 | SmokingDuck | 48% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 48% | 178 | ||
| #5 | SmokingDuck | 48% | 52 |
| #6 | dOG.Fisherman | 48% | 117 |
| 47% | 352 | ||
| 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| 9 | 0.0025 | ||
| #2 | b4m | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ELTO | 4 | 0.0013 |
| 3 | 0.0004 | ||
| #5 | dOG.Fisherman | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 537 | 0.07 | 18 min | ||
| #2 | ELTO | 436 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| 414 | 0.12 | 13 min | ||
| #4 | b4m | 349 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #5 | dOG.Fisherman | 328 | 0.14 | 10 min |





