








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 639 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 124 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,922 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5584 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3650 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5744 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2944 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,511,789 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1488 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tag min lif | 21 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Cinder ;) | 18 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | PiffPuffVaniljelatte | 13 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Smilemust | 12 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Etch | 10 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smilemust | 426 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | SkoGs_MuLLeN | 366 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | Cinder ;) | 340 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | Etch | 205 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Tag min lif | 165 | 0.04 | 3 min |





