








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1155 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,357 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 194 | 8% |
| Smokes | 783 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 918 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 462 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $426,813 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GeT_JuPpE | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Top$u | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | w1nkziE | 71% | 17 |
| #4 | BigTimeSam ヅ | 67% | 18 |
| #5 | Koalagodz | 61% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osmo | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Zyrk | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | JUMALMOODICS | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Johkis | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | ✪ kipe32 | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyrk | 264 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | ✪ kipe32 | 129 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Johkis | 75 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #4 | Koalagodz | 70 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Osmo | 66 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Top$u | +3.79 | 93 | 80 |
| #2 | GeT_JuPpE | +1.60 | 58 | 44 |
| #3 | Damien | +1.57 | 77 | 38 |
| #4 | w1nkziE | +1.52 | 58 | 63 |
| #5 | Osmo | +1.37 | 76 | 73 |





