








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 434 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 178 matches | ||
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2353 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,792 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4851 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3624 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 5271 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6046 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $439,235 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1007 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | loz_xo | 40% | 25 |
| #17 | ✴ 🎀 𝒞𝒽𝓁♡𝑒 🎀 ✴ | 37% | 27 |
| #18 | Stevey | 37% | 60 |
| #19 | Wanheda | 35% | 69 |
| #20 | Nepotism | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GreenGoblin | 65 | 0.0233 |
| #2 | JamesIOM | 43 | 0.0131 |
| #3 | Bane | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Mattmo_0 | 6 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | hummingman | 5 | 0.0056 |





