








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 238 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2233 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,336 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2403 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2538 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2796 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2599 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $969,179 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 363 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kZ | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | Yawn Pierewiet | 56% | 81 |
| #3 | Ferno | 55% | 47 |
| #4 | ToλsTy | 46% | 127 |
| #5 | Lucifer | 46% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noobz.Inc | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Yawn Pierewiet | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | AimlessRSA | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Ferno | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | SpliffyMcj1ggles™ | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noobz.Inc | 853 | 0.15 | 24 min |
| #2 | S1ade | 274 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | kZ | 238 | 0.32 | 7 min |
| #4 | AimlessRSA | 223 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | Yawn Pierewiet | 162 | 0.09 | 4 min |





