








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1542 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,888 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1948 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1785 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2538 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1617 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $804,135 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | black no dad | 15 | 0.0333 |
| #2 | Mr. Ree #WALL | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | pTahhh | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | pintobean | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | tLe | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Ree #WALL | 569 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | pTahhh | 319 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | KNTRL | 92 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | tLe | 81 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | MR. REEEEE | 75 | 0.15 | 2 min |





