








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 376 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 361 matches | ||
| Premier | 225 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,060 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8253 | 41% |
| Smokes | 4534 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5715 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1558 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,073,517 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1030 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KNTRL | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | pTahhh | 51% | 160 |
| #3 | pintobean | 50% | 109 |
| #4 | jizyah shortz | 48% | 48 |
| #5 | tLe | 48% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | pintobean | 50% | 109 |
| #4 | jizyah shortz | 48% | 48 |
| #5 | tLe | 48% | 82 |
| #6 | God Bless Texas | 44% | 149 |
| #7 | Magikarp- ﺕ | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pTahhh | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | tLe | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | God Bless Texas | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | pintobean | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | jizyah shortz | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pTahhh | 491 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | God Bless Texas | 224 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | tLe | 109 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | pintobean | 98 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | KNTRL | 98 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magikarp- ﺕ | +0.68 | 65 | 71 |
| #2 | tLe | +0.45 | 50 | 58 |
| #3 | pTahhh | -0.17 | 39 | 71 |
| #4 | Mr. Ree #WALL | -0.22 | 58 | 58 |
| #5 | God Bless Texas | -0.45 | 55 | 72 |





