










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,334 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 510 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1280 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1171 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 373 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,161,063 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lanky | 41% | 41 |
| #2 | chipe | 40% | 114 |
| #3 | Motto | 38% | 78 |
| #4 | Weiner Boyz | 36% | 47 |
| #5 | The one armed Tidnab | 36% | 228 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The one armed Tidnab | 186 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #2 | chipe | 113 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Weiner Boyz | 88 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ovr1t | 65 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Motto | 19 | 0.01 | 0 min |





