








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 531 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 689 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6712 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10785 | 30% |
| Smokes | 8832 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 8212 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 8072 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $880,291 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 776 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | simmo | 52% | 121 |
| #2 | Habibi | 51% | 55 |
| #3 | best teamwork | 49% | 80 |
| #4 | (w)kyla | 48% | 54 |
| #5 | El Cappuccino (KELK) | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | best teamwork | 49% | 80 |
| #4 | (w)kyla | 48% | 54 |
| #5 | El Cappuccino (KELK) | 48% | 50 |
| #6 | Erk! | 46% | 59 |
| #7 | HIRm. | 43% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | simmo | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | best teamwork | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | HIRm. | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Erk! | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | El Cappuccino (KELK) | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | best teamwork | 378 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | (w)kyla | 349 | 0.29 | 9 min |
| #3 | HIRm. | 321 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #4 | Erk! | 258 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #5 | Habibi | 198 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | best teamwork | +2.27 | 59 | 67 |
| #2 | Erk! | +1.06 | 62 | 72 |
| #3 | El Cappuccino (KELK) | +0.02 | 46 | 59 |
| #4 | shamash ジ | -0.00 | 57 | 70 |
| #5 | HIRm. | -0.06 | 50 | 79 |





