








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1553 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 457 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 60 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




108 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10040 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9414 | 26% |
| Smokes | 9484 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 10180 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6644 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,219,471 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2365 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jah | 47% | 100 |
| #2 | 𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐙𝐳 | 46% | 333 |
| #3 | HunterPARK![ms] | 44% | 75 |
| #4 | ✪ $paCe | 40% | 98 |
| #5 | Patches | 39% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jah | 47% | 100 |
| #2 | 𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐙𝐳 | 46% | 333 |
| #3 | HunterPARK![ms] | 44% | 75 |
| #4 | ✪ $paCe | 40% | 98 |
| #5 | Patches | 39% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐙𝐳 | 14 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Patches | 9 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | HunterPARK![ms] | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | jah | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐙𝐳 | 638 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #2 | jah | 342 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | ✪ $paCe | 248 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | HunterPARK![ms] | 115 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Patches | 91 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✨♡𝚜𝚔𝚢⊹ | +1.76 | 57 | 62 |
| #2 | HunterPARK![ms] | +1.70 | 59 | 57 |
| #3 | jah | -0.40 | 42 | 63 |
| #4 | ✪ $paCe | -1.40 | 30 | 58 |
| #5 | 𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐙𝐳 | -1.55 | 37 | 58 |





