








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 461 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3939 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,800 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1486 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3073 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3582 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2659 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,196,121 of utility $248 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SONTARES | 51% | 110 |
| #2 | Banana | 48% | 369 |
| #3 | Kinky kleptomaniac | 47% | 276 |
| #4 | Torppe | 43% | 28 |
| #5 | Hacker vs Pro | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banana | 1231 | 0.16 | 28 min |
| #2 | Kinky kleptomaniac | 403 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #3 | SONTARES | 223 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Hacker vs Pro | 56 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Torppe | 17 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SONTARES | +2.54 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | pasab | +1.44 | 57 | 52 |
| #3 | Hacker vs Pro | +0.98 | 77 | 61 |
| #4 | Banana | +0.78 | 76 | 56 |
| #5 | Kinky kleptomaniac | -1.98 | 56 | 58 |





