










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1065 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,405 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1190 | 49% |
| Smokes | 392 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 581 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 242 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $304,189 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 379 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | polle | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | Suhbrajndude | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Timpan4 | 52% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | polle | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | Suhbrajndude | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Timpan4 | 52% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | polle | 9 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | Timpan4 | 7 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Suhbrajndude | 1 | 0.0106 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | polle | 212 | 0.34 | 5 min |
| #2 | Timpan4 | 191 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Suhbrajndude | 30 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | polle | +5.90 | 85 | 62 |
| #2 | Suhbrajndude | +2.77 | 83 | 61 |
| #3 | NoTime4You | +2.50 | 86 | 50 |
| #4 | Timpan4 | +0.37 | 82 | 48 |





