








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2101 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,460 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3319 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2404 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1222 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1515 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $419,866 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oficial. Shamoo | 57% | 47 |
| #2 | HA[g] | 56% | 61 |
| #3 | MASS | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | Wade | 53% | 43 |
| #5 | hades | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | frozt-g- | 53% | 40 |
| #7 | ezpk-g- | 52% | 87 |
| #8 | arya | 50% | 24 |
| #9 | Purple Actavis | 49% | 35 |
| #10 | Mar (not-toxic for cs2) | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mar (not-toxic for cs2) | 2 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | ezpk-g- | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | HA[g] | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Wade | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | arya | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ezpk-g- | 176 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | HA[g] | 139 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Wade | 117 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Oficial. Shamoo | 109 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Purple Actavis | 97 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mar (not-toxic for cs2) | +2.57 | 82 | 62 |
| #2 | decipLe-g- | +2.17 | 88 | 70 |
| #3 | hades | +1.75 | 78 | 59 |
| #4 | MASS | +1.66 | 85 | 53 |
| #5 | HA[g] | +1.38 | 82 | 64 |





