








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
304 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,566 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 337 | 22% |
| Smokes | 541 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 339 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 349 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $164,375 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wade | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | HA[g] | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | ezpk-g- | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | decipLe-g- | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Purple Actavis | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | HA[g] | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | ezpk-g- | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | decipLe-g- | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Purple Actavis | 50% | 18 |
| #6 | Oficial. Shamoo | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | decipLe-g- | 209 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | ezpk-g- | 72 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Wade | 52 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Purple Actavis | 46 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | HA[g] | 38 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | decipLe-g- | +1.75 | 88 | 69 |
| #2 | Purple Actavis | +0.74 | 50 | 70 |
| #3 | HA[g] | +0.50 | 72 | 64 |
| #4 | frozt-g- | +0.04 | 74 | 68 |
| #5 | Wade | -0.28 | 69 | 64 |





