








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2825 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,400 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1074 | 24% |
| Smokes | 930 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1499 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 897 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $892,773 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chipe | 50% | 115 |
| #2 | Ovr1t | 48% | 112 |
| #3 | detoxer | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | Kidnoftle | 46% | 114 |
| #5 | I HATE SKYNET | 46% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chipe | 163 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | I HATE SKYNET | 97 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ovr1t | 88 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kidnoftle | 80 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | The one armed Tidnab | 55 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | detoxer | +3.05 | 74 | 76 |
| #2 | chipe | +2.11 | 72 | 60 |
| #3 | LEG™ | +1.00 | 77 | 33 |
| #4 | I HATE SKYNET | +0.84 | 58 | 51 |
| #5 | Ovr1t | +0.21 | 42 | 39 |





