








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 322 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 348 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2956 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,236 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1926 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3593 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 1086 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1631 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,770,191 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SwagSquatch | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | ✯WhitePlague✯ | 52% | 31 |
| #3 | Supreme Banana | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | 007Aston | 48% | 44 |
| #5 | NERPZ | 47% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t3h_r00st3r | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Samuraifuzz | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | NERPZ | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | ✯WhitePlague✯ | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Outlaw | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samuraifuzz | 764 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | 007Aston | 204 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | t3h_r00st3r | 88 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #4 | Outlaw | 87 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Maniac.0330 | 33 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SwagSquatch | +4.67 | 37 | 26 |
| #2 | NERPZ | +4.04 | 31 | 42 |
| #3 | [ABWFF]thezfunk | +1.25 | 54 | 42 |
| #4 | 007Aston | -0.24 | 21 | 64 |
| #5 | Supreme Banana | -0.58 | 39 | 16 |





