








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 346 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2245 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,256 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 923 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2654 | 50% |
| HE Grenades | 1409 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 270 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,926,454 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1647 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | あごあご | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | TQb1 | 64% | 59 |
| #3 | God Usopp | 51% | 63 |
| #4 | Tapo | 50% | 102 |
| #5 | Mikey | 41% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob Tschigerillo Erzfeind | 547 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | Sc0rpi0n | 250 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Tapo | 125 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | TQb1 | 42 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | God Usopp | 38 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tapo | +6.26 | 85 | 55 |
| #2 | God Usopp | +5.75 | 67 | 52 |
| #3 | あごあご | +4.56 | 56 | 35 |
| #4 | Bob Tschigerillo Erzfeind | +4.06 | 63 | 52 |
| #5 | TQb1 | +3.11 | 50 | 37 |





