










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1607 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 562 matches | ||
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 26 different maps





Our logs show 236 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10886 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,800 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11361 | 30% |
| Smokes | 7518 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 9744 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 9177 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,321,762 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1696 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ✪ -RxL.♕ | 48% | 148 |
| #10 | McCouille | 47% | 68 |
| #11 | SasukeRonaldo76 | 47% | 77 |
| #12 | BaK ! | 45% | 82 |
| #13 | Rapics | 43% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spokeezy | 23 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | aLpr4zZ | 18 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | SasukeRonaldo76 | 12 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | M4D M4X | 12 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | ✪ -RxL.♕ | 11 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psychodreams | 817 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #2 | Spokeezy | 690 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #3 | ✪ -RxL.♕ | 623 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #4 | aLpr4zZ | 534 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #5 | M4D M4X | 393 | 0.25 | 9 min |





