










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
188 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 739 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 228 | 31% |
| Smokes | 227 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 131 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 153 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $35,967 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SUGAR | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Lack1 | 38% | 8 |
| #3 | re8orn | 33% | 3 |
| #4 | qioke | 25% | 4 |
| #5 | Forester | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Lack1 | 38% | 8 |
| #3 | re8orn | 33% | 3 |
| #4 | qioke | 25% | 4 |
| #5 | Forester | 25% | 8 |
| #6 | Krad | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lack1 | 35 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #2 | qioke | 24 | 0.28 | 0 min |
| #3 | Forester | 19 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | re8orn | 13 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #5 | Krad | 13 | 0.33 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lack1 | +3.63 | 94 | 44 |
| #2 | NickelBack | +2.81 | 85 | 75 |
| #3 | qioke | +1.78 | 98 | 60 |
| #4 | Krad | +1.66 | 73 | 66 |
| #5 | Forester | +0.75 | 82 | 62 |





