








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 910 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 402 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3779 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4817 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5804 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4216 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3858 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,718,379 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | montevonzot | 44% | 41 |
| #12 | koMa | 44% | 121 |
| #13 | .Antimate | 39% | 46 |
| #14 | Super Kaiyajin | 38% | 40 |
| #15 | bLacKKKKKKKK | 34% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vonox | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | schändr | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | bLacKKKKKKKK | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | DOYA | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | rndz | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DOYA | 810 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #2 | schändr | 698 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #3 | rndz | 315 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | vonox | 272 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | snobz | 236 | 0.09 | 6 min |





