








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2679 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,116 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3688 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3299 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3161 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1968 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $969,040 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 235 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | DOYA | 44% | 93 |
| #12 | Super Kaiyajin | 43% | 23 |
| #13 | geno | 41% | 59 |
| #14 | .Antimate | 38% | 32 |
| #15 | montevonzot | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kⓡn | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | DOYA | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | schändr | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | snobz | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | vonox | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schändr | 320 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | DOYA | 255 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Kⓡn | 213 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | snobz | 154 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Super Kaiyajin | 134 | 0.30 | 4 min |





