








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 405 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1897 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,115 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3208 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1366 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2353 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1188 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $670,410 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rakas vanha perävaunu | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | NakkiS | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | Savuke | 65% | 34 |
| #4 | jar jar dinks | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | AR0PPA | 61% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | ficti | 47% | 62 |
| #14 | Inffi | 37% | 19 |
| #15 | Bastardo | 36% | 33 |
| #16 | Batecod | 32% | 22 |
| #17 | HappyPanda | 15% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ficti | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | razeh | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Savuke | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Bastardo | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Inffi | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | razeh | 146 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | ficti | 145 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Bastardo | 128 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Savuke | 100 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Rekku | 90 | 0.18 | 2 min |





