








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 222 matches | ||
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,389 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1900 | 43% |
| Smokes | 186 | 4% |
| HE Grenades | 1365 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 938 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $718,206 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freynar | 62% | 66 |
| #2 | -->mio<-- | 47% | 301 |
| #3 | Dogurai | 45% | 31 |
| #4 | 你媽媽性感 | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freynar | 62% | 66 |
| #2 | -->mio<-- | 47% | 301 |
| #3 | Dogurai | 45% | 31 |
| #4 | 你媽媽性感 | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -->mio<-- | 19 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Freynar | 13 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | 你媽媽性感 | 5 | 0.0138 |
| #4 | Dogurai | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freynar | 279 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | -->mio<-- | 215 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #3 | 你媽媽性感 | 68 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dogurai | 23 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -->mio<-- | +5.83 | 68 | 41 |
| #2 | Freynar | +5.42 | 73 | 57 |
| #3 | 你媽媽性感 | +1.74 | 75 | 53 |
| #4 | Dogurai | +0.78 | 42 | 39 |
| #5 | Dwn ⚆_⚆ | -4.13 | 43 | 37 |





